There are those who have said nothing yet. But, there have been a few inquiring minds (mostly my relatives) who have asked me, "What was it like to be dead for 20 minutes?" Was there a bright light? Did you see Jesus, did you see the pearly gates or did He send you back with a special message? I would have to say, "No" to all these things. I didn’t even know that I had died until my wife told me. So, what was it like? It was like... nothing.
At first this shook me and my faith a little. Why didn’t I see anything? Why didn’t I get that “message” from God? Probably, because He knew I wouldn’t have remembered it anyway. I learned this was a test of my faith. Many of you are thinking the same thing right now. "Do you really believe?" When I visited the cardiologist in the past, he said I always had a faint heartbeat. So, technically I may not have really really died. I was just asleep for awhile. And, when all is said and done, I still believe, seen or unseen, in a sovereign God.
The one thing that hit me several weeks later was I had “No Regrets.” It feels really good to say that. I would have been totally satisfied with dying when I did because, I had no regrets. There wasn’t one more thing I had to do. There wasn’t a person I had to tell them I loved them one more time. There were no goals out there that couldn’t be left undone. There wasn’t a person I needed to forgive. I have to say I was completely satisfied with where my life had gone and what I was doing at the time.
Are you there yet? Are you satisfied with where you are at in your life? This is not a matter of perfection, but a matter of doing your best with what you have. This is the fourth agreement in Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, “The Four Agreements.” Don’t worry about how you rate or compared to others, but are you doing YOUR best?
During this episode in my life it has taught me that I have many friends. I thank all of you for your comments, well wishes and prayers. I learned today that I had between 5000 – 10,000 people praying for me. Wow! All the food, phone calls and visits with all of you showing your concern was overwhelming. Naturally, I enjoyed the attention and someone said I would go to any lengths to get it. As great as it all has been I learned that I get more joy from giving than receiving.
Presently, I am still sore and I hurt often. I am going to rehab to help me with my speech and memory. I’ve already told them to just get me back to normal, and not to worry about making me better. They have no idea what they are in for!
I have a special thanks to Elisa for setting up the get well Garry blog and for her and Dana for doing so much behind the scenes stuff for me and Karen.