Angels of Mercy

Over the last few weeks I’ve been in rehab overcoming some speech and memory problems after surgery with some special help of my therapist Kasey. Naturally I have spent as much time observing others as well as spending some time on my personal recovery and making new friends.

The first thing I realized was many of the people here were in much worse shape than I was and this caused a brief moment of feeling guilty, but also I was filled with gratitude. I knew this could just as easily been me. I am awed by the complexity of people’s physiology how it can be so strong and yet so fragile and resilient.

The next thing I began to watch was the workers and everyone doing their part to make the whole system work. I see the people working and pushing to help their clients move forward and excel in all their endeavors. I see the pain in the patients, but I can also see the hopes in the workers knowing they can help if their clients push through the pain.

What draws these people to this kind of work? What is it inside them that gives them fulfillment and purpose in becoming “Angels of Mercy?” I’ve asked several different workers and it usually falls under the desire to just help people. It probably wouldn’t take too much time to discover there own hurts and pains in wanting to do more than just exist in this life. They want to make their own life counts for more than taking home a paycheck. I can’t help but hear the scripture, “but by love, serve one another.”

There are other Angels of Mercy that I haven’t mentioned yet such as my wife and all the added responsibilities that came on suddenly. She has taken exceptionally good care of me and my sons as well. Then I can’t help but think of those who may not have a loving and sacrificing spouse and once again I feel fortunate.

Then of course the other Angels are the many friends and relatives who have reached out in so many different ways. With the kindness of a message, phone call, visit, provided food and especially their prayers I feel so encouraged to get well.

Many years ago I heard that God shines His light through the holes in our heart and because of the holes in your hearts I’ve seen your light shine.

Tribute to My Wife

Back in September of 1978 when I was attending college my second freshman year I met a young lady whose name was Karen Knight. She was a new freshman prospect for dating as all freshmen were. One evening while everyone was hanging out at the SUB I caught her making eyes at me. I learned several years later that she was actually looking at the guy behind me. She just had bad aim. I gradually worked my way over to her and asked her out, she agreed and we went out the next evening to church. Afterwards we were going to go eat somewhere and I asked her where she wanted to go. She said she thought a lot of the students were going to Pizza Hut. This was a problem because I had been dating a girl who worked at the Pizza Hut and we were thinking about breaking up, but we actually hadn’t made it official. I kept suggesting other places to go, but her mind was set on the Pizza Hut.

The only thing I had working in my favor was I knew my soon to be ex girlfriend wasn’t working that night. However, everyone there knew me. I tried to covertly enter the place without being noticed, but of course that didn’t work. Then to make a bad situation worse my soon to be ex girlfriend just happened to drive up. By this time I was practically under the table. At first I wasn’t sure if I had been discovered, but when she got back in her car leaving a black mark for a block and slinging gravel everywhere I soon realized my secret was out. The next step was all the explaining I had to do with Karen.

The old relationship was over of course and surprisingly Karen and I continued to date. After a couple of months I proposed to her and she accepted. Before this time I had never dated a girl for more than a month so I figured since after 2 months and she was still with me this must be the one.

The next summer on August 4, 1979 we were married. We had a wonderful wedding and many friends to attend. The wedding was at her home church out in the backwoods of East Texas that was difficult to find even with a map. Many of my friends that were getting married that summer had been singing to their brides in the wedding. I thought this was a cool idea so I would do the same thing. Stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my life. When you are already under tremendous stress and fear you should never turn the heat up by doing something stupid. I just knew I was going to pass out before it was over. I was shaking so bad I thought I was going to wear out my tux from the inside out.

After the wedding my groomsmen grabbed me and were trying to carry me off. This was when I learned I did not ever want to mess with Karen. She tore into them like a wildcat and they put me down. We made our escape while the groomsmen were tending their wounds. She actually brought blood on a couple of them.

We headed south and we stopped in Tyler at a pizza place to eat. You will never guess who was at this pizza place. You got it! It was the ex girlfriend. She didn’t live in Tyler or work there. She was a customer. I do not believe in coincidence. I believe there was a message in this from God to let go of the past.

A few years later we began to have children and Karen was a great mother. She worked so diligently with the boys. She read to them, held them and taught them so much. I believe all my boys were reading before they started school. Karen had made so many sacrifices for them over the years as well as many for me.

Over the years Karen has taught me several things…a work ethic, determination, diligence and love. She has stood by me when I was having a midlife crisis, depression and several times of unemployment. Many times I feel like she has given me so much and I have given her so little. Some times the only thing I think I have taught her is patience.

This last August we celebrated our 29^th wedding anniversary and I have to say I love her more today than when we first got married. We have had some rough times and even were near divorce a few years ago. Some people have asked us what we attribute the success of our relationship. For many years I've always told everyone that Karen and I had nothing at all in common. We had absolutely no similar interest which was true. The other day it dawned on me that we did have some things in common. It was our beliefs, convictions and values. The main thing was God’s grace working in us, but before we got married we made a commitment that no matter what we were never going to get divorced. We actually believed the words, “For better or for worse and till death do us part.” We also figured if we were going to stay together for the rest of our lives, then why not make it a good life.

As our life goes on I ask God daily to teach me how to love my wife more than I did the day before and He’s doing it.

The Temple

A few months ago I had the privilege to go to Baltimore, Maryland. While I was there I was able to see several of the local sights. One day we went to Annapolis for sight seeing and I learned that the Naval Academy is based in Annapolis. The friend I was with wanted me to see the Navy Chapel or Cathedral. When I walked through the doors it took my breath away because of its beauty. After a few minutes of wandering about I began to feel this cold stale feeling. I thought about this for a few minutes trying to understand the spirit of the situation. Then it dawned on me what was going on.

You see, there are many who believe that God dwells in these places of beauty and majesty. This is not true. These places have been created to give significance to religion and man, but not God. These amazing works of craftsmanship and beauty appeal to the emotions and to the eyes. Now here is the really amazing part. God could dwell in these monuments of beauty and craftsmanship, but He chose to dwell in us instead. We are His cathedrals and His temple. How humbling it is to know He chose you and me. Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you? 1 Corinthians 3:16

There are many who make the reference that our body is a temple. This is a true statement taken from the previous scripture. However, many take this out of context and worship their own bodies. There are many health food nuts and exercise fanatics who attempt to take good care of their bodies, but they forget the real matters of importance. No matter how hard we try, our bodies are going to age and eventually die and turn to dust. So much for all that wheat germ and jogging.

The point is, when aging comes and the body fades away…what’s left? I hope you have more than just your body to get through life. Many have learned this the hard way. They got through the first part of their life on their looks, but when the looks were gone, so were they. I remember hearing an interview with Brad Pitt one evening. When the interviewer referred to him as a national sex symbol it seemed to irritate him. He said his mother had told him with attractiveness comes responsibility and looks may get you through the door, but they won’t keep you in the room. In other words, you better have talent behind the looks.

People are composed of a body, soul and spirit. The body of course is the physical part of us and the soul is the mind, will and emotions. Those who don’t have the body fall back on the soul and substitute education, career and personal success. The one which is most important is the spirit and it’s usually ignored. Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not saying we shouldn’t be aware of our health and education is extremely important. It just doesn’t need to be the most important. The way we should think is just the opposite. The spirit, soul and body. So, what is the spirit? I’ll let you think about this one and answer it in my next letter. I think you’ll like it.

Integrity

There are many of us who are able to maintain a balance of our emotions as long as things are going our way. However, when that balance is interrupted by bad news, unexpected attack or if we just don’t get our way is when our true character is revealed. A good friend of mine told me the other day she went out to eat with someone. Something was not right with person’s order and she went off on the waitress and the manager to the point of completely embarrassing and even humiliating her.

A few weeks ago I heard a lady give a great definition of integrity. She said, “Integrity is when our values control our emotions.” Think about that for a moment. Do our values and convictions mean enough to us to control our emotions when life doesn’t go our way? What are your values? I have seen people who have just received horrific news, but were still able to maintain control over their emotions. I’ve also seen those who have received unpleasant news and went ballistic. It’s really difficult dealing with people who live in emotional inconsistency. When they are feeling good they treat you well and when they are feeling bad they’re grouchy, snippy and difficult to be around. This person may be you. I want you to know that just because you are having a bad day does not give you the right to stomp on others. Grow up!

So what’s the difference between one who has integrity and one who hasn’t? Maturity. There are several factors that contribute to the lack of development in our growth. Naturally our background and those who modeled adulthood had an influence. Mistreatment and abuse definitely affect us. Eventually, we have to come to a point of accepting responsibility for ourselves and quit blaming others.

Many years ago a good name was revered as a must. Part of the reason for this is because towns were small and if you were to cheat someone or take part in a corrupt business deal, it would spread quickly and you could lose your livelihood fast. The other reason, people knew the value of a “Good Name.” A good name is more desirable than great riches. Proverbs 22:1 In present day it seems like for the most part this is a thing of the past. The value system now is based on, “Can I get away with it?”

Another definition of integrity is to choose to do the right thing even when no one is watching. Many of the physical problems, depression, sleep disorders, eating disorders and many other struggles we endure today are based on not having a clear conscience. We attempt to justify, minimize or flat out lie to ourselves hoping to feel better, but it just doesn’t work.

The name “Mensch” is a German and a Yiddish word. The Yiddish definition means, “A person of good character and integrity.” Even though I’ve failed to live up to this name many times throughout my life, I do desire and work towards living up to my name. More importantly I also carry the name “Christian.” This name means more to me because I represent Christ. My desire is to love others the way God loves me and carry His name with honor and integrity.

What's Important to You

This question is really broad and will have multiple answers. What I have learned is important to me greatly depends on the situation at the time. If you are traveling somewhere and you drank a 44oz. drink…in about an hour or so I know what’s going to be the most important thing to you. If you have gone three days without eating, I know what’s going to be important to you. If you are driving somewhere and you notice your gas tank is about empty and it is 50 miles to the next gas station, I know what’s really important to you.

It’s kind of sad that we have to be in a crisis situation before we realize what’s important to us. A husband and wife can be in an extreme intense argument concerning who’s supposed to take out the trash and get a phone call that their child was just hit by a car. Immediately the argument ceases and their thoughts are instantly drawn to the greater importance.

The quickest way to determine what is important to us is to have a crisis in our life. This quickly helps us to determine what really matters. On September 11, 2001 our country was attacked by terrorist. For a brief time everything in our country stopped to evaluate what was truly important to us. For the first time in over a century our home soil had been attacked. The skies were silent for about 3 days and since I worked at the airport during this time I definitely felt the eeriness of the quiet skies. For a brief time the churches were filled during this time of horror, but once comfort was found again many resumed their former lives and vacated the churches.

Adversity will always be a part of our lives and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. What we do have control over is how we deal with it and respond. We all have our personal adversities of loss, illness, fears and other problems. Except for 9/11, my generation has never felt the severity of national plight. We as Americans have become prideful and believe we are beyond the grasp of famine and destruction just as many other major empires in history thought before they fell.

The beauty of adversity is that it brings people together. I’ve always liked to watch disaster movies because it put everyone on the same playing field and brought them together. The CEO, doctor, mechanic, housewife and homeless guy were just people trying to survive together. I know we can’t sit around worrying about what might happen, but it may be prudent to stop occasionally and ponder the many things we should be grateful for and take nothing for granted.

There are many people at this very moment being diagnosed with cancer, getting a phone call that a loved one just died, discovering their child has a drug problem or just lost their job of 25 years. This may be you or someone you know. If this is you then allow others to comfort you and if this is someone you know, then comfort them. The Holy Spirit is referred to as, “The Comforter.” But when the Comforter is come, whom I will send unto you from the Father, even the Spirit of Truth, which proceeds from the Father, He shall testify of Me. John 15:26 Allow God and His Holy Spirit to comfort you and use you to comfort others. Without Him, there is no hope!

Sometimes what I do to evaluate what is really important is I ask, in 200 years from now is this really going to matter? Take a moment a think about what is really important to you.